Louis: When Asking You To Marry Him.

I'd probably end up swallowing it and Louis'd be like, "SARAH STAHP!" I would just look at him funny and ask, "Why? You know I love s'mores." Louis would then say slowly, "Sarah, you need to throw up right now,"  to which is replied with "BUT LOU WHY? WHY WOULD I RUIN THE DELICIOUSNESS BY THROWING IT BACK UP?!" Louis is now looking at me with a mixture of deep concern and frustration, and I can tell he's fighting with himself about what he'll say next. He finally speaks up, " Because I love you and i knew you loved s'mores, so when I fixed yours slid the ring onto your marshmallow and.. and I just would like for you to marry me, will you do that? MArry me, dear?" And I'd be fangirling as usual when he says "Um... Yeah... The ring is in your stomach and we're going to need it back... I'd rather if we didn't go to the ER in a few days when it's stuck in your intestines and slowly tearing them apart, so... Please can you go up chuck behind the bushes so we can find it..."


Please keep in mind that all of my imagines happen over Instagram and they're usually a clip from part of my part of a conversation with my friend Kiana. These will most likely not occur often, and I don't want any hate. Also these will all have me in them because I'm too lazy to reword them. All of these (not photos) are originals of mine. Thanks for reading, sorry for run ons and errors, BYEEEE

Love, 

Sarah Smiles

Imagines

As some may have concluded, I have a small obsession with the One Direction. It has come to my attention that I'm rather successful at making random imagines with the boys. Therefore I will also be "publishing" some on here and my tumblr (myfallthrough.tumblr.com)! Shall we begin? :)

To Her

She has wondering eyes, darting with curiosity but full of knowledge. She can feel that he's looking down at her with his lighter blue eyes hidden behind his hipster glasses.

The girl reaches into her bag to retrieve his head phones left at her house from summer days. She slowly realizes she put them in the pocket holding her once a month girl possessions, yet she's not embarrassed. She wants him to know, to realize how much of a women she really is, and has been for years. When she looks up at him to hand him the head phones he's smiling. And she wants to be a part of that smile, connected to it. Connected to him. But she simply gives him an uneven smirk, and her few last words to say before she hugs him one last time and walks in the direction of many other cars waiting to get out of the lot.


So I happened to survive my first day of freshman year and now I can't sleep. Oops. (from last night)

No Pencils

When the world calms down and the starts come out, do we have what it takes to see beyond the golden gates?

Your life is unwritten. So let's pick up a pen. No pencils, because that's not how life works. You cant erase your mistakes so embrace them! Sure you could still go and cross them out but there will forever be that little bit of evidence on the page. Those few witnesses, they will always know.


“Well, we all make mistakes, dear, so just put it behind you. We should regret our mistakes and learn from them, but never carry them forward into the future with us.” ~ L.M. Montgomery, Anne of Avonlea

This I believe is my shortest post yet. WOO. ~ Sarah

Let's Walk into Doors for Fun.

I was going to get my laptop from my room so I could type in the kitchen and listen to my complete Night Visions Album by Imagine Dragons, when I totally walked into the door! Not even attempting to grab the handle! Any who! I love this album! Possibly the best decision I've ever made!

The boy, Evan, that I talked about in my last post came over today around one. The only thing is that my parents weren't here so I was extremely nervous and excited at the same time. I was so happy and disappointed that he didn't try anything, kissing I mean.. Is that wrong? He left about four o'clock since I got a text saying to clean the house, from my dad. Evan was about to walk out the door when he turned around and made my heart skip a beat by say to get over there and give him a hug. :)))

He's one of the sweetest guys I know, and jeez he's cute! for those of you who watch Awkward. he's basically the Matty McKibben but the nerdy, blonde, super white kind. Oh and if you're wondering what exactly we did the whole time; we watched the ending of BASEketball, half of The Beaver, and two episodes of That 70's Show. It was pretty much perf. Way better than our sort of date. And let me just say, he long boarded all the to my house which if a few miles from his! That's dedication right there!! Oh and my dog freaking loves him, and vise versa! Like I said 'it was pretty much perf.'

"Follow your bliss and the universe will open doors where there were only walls." ~ Joseph Campbell 

Have a great rest of your day!

 ~ Sarah Smiles

Participating to Infinity

It's 3:39 in the morning and I'm up. I'm never up this late besides the time at the Great Wolf Lodge, those moments I can't seem to forget... I think it's been a little over two weeks now since we've been chatting on Facebook. I've lost most of that crush feeling I used to have, I still hope we become wonderful friends and to find a guy like him one day.

I am here because I was asked on a date earlier this week. :) It was very significant though because this happened to my first sort of date. By sort of I mean that my mom drove me to McDonald's to meet up with Evan, and she was in the strip mall area the whole time. Our date was pretty much a bust and it feels like it was my fault, because he did all the talking and I could never find anything in my mind to say back. Normally through text, it's not much of a problem. You know why? because when that text from him comes through the cyber air, and space to that satellite and back down the atmosphere to my own phone, I can look at the words and think. Think through everything. Google what I don't understand since I happen to be hopelessly clueless, then I can type.

Type until the nerves in my fingers get numb from pressing to hard. He still likes me though. From what I can tell at least. I'm no my Macy McHenry but if someone constantly tries to make plans with you than doesn't that mean they do?

One of my best friends, Kasi, is having a birthday party on Friday so it should be fun! I need to go and get her a present but I haven't had the chance. I've been trying to ignore my friends. It's hard though. Here isn't home. Here isn't anything but a living nightmare. It's hilarious that during the summer I moved to Kansas I was having anxiety attacks because I had no one, yet here no attacks but it's even worse.

I've noticed tension between my parents. It's been happening more and more often since this summer started. I'm worried about them, getting separated that is... Trying to act like you don't notice silent fights like that is terribly hard. I'm just glad most of the week I'm alone.


"The truth is of course is that there is no journey. We are arriving and departing all at the same time." ~ David Bowie

Good Morning, sorry for the feelings and ramblings and for the long post. ~ Sarah Smiles

Dedicated.

So last night and pretty much my whole have been dedicated to One Direction. Like not in the music sense, but in the stare at photos of them forever until after I start ugly cry. I mean C'MON! Louis is so sassy like I can't even!

 

Easy and Overdue.

No, this isn't hard at all.. It's kind of like blinking you hardly even think about the fact that you're doing it. That you're actually talking to him. That talking to him feel exactly like the way that old song you barely hear anymore said; like "I've got sunshine on a cloudy day." This story is long overdue.

The way he doesn't even act like he acknowledges our age difference. How he doesn't flirt but you still get butterflies and melt like the witch from the Wizard of Oz as you talk. And that's all we do. Talk that is. Send a Kitty sticker here and a Cactus sticker there. This story is long overdue.

That awkward moment when I told you, "I'd be lying if I said you weren't attractive," was true, but when I said that I was talking about inside your heart too. We may differ in ways, like our tastes in music... But in other way we are simular, like how we feel of Zombies. And even as I create this I get distracted; constantly looking at the tabs on my dimly set screen checking for your next reply. And I just swear I'm going mad, psychotic even as type what feels so accurate yet not even close to what I want to say. Yet, as overdue as this story may be... It'll have to wait for another time a different day.

And even as I wrote what was supposed to be the end, you call me your friend and now there's a burning in my heart of hope.



"To say nothing is true, is to realize that the foundations of society are fragile, and that we must be the shepherds of our own civilization.
To say that everything is permitted, is to understand that we are the architects of our own actions, and that we must live with the consequences whether glorious or tragic." ~ Ezio Auditore

"You're only young once, but you can stay immature indefinitely!" ~ Kaida Aimizi 

HSM

So what does HSM stand for? Anyone and everyone from my generation should know this! And NO, IT'S NOT A STD!!

High School Musical. I've been kind of having a HSM Marathon, thanks to Netflix. :)

I know High School won't be like this... But you've got to keep dreaming right? So yeah, that's exactly what I'm doing right now. Why are these movies so corny, and why did we all used to watch them? No ideas? Yeah, me neither.

(ERMYGERD I JUST FOUND OUT THERE WAS A SECOND BROTHER BEAR MOVIE!!! WHAT IS THIS MADNESS?!?!?!)

"A film is a petrified fountain of thought." ~ Jean Cocteau 

Bye my babes! ~ Sarah Smiles

Humming to My Flowers

↑This↑

Compared to

↓This↓

Really, really sucks. But anyway, I'm finally on Summer Vacation (Thank God). And until yesterday it was really nice.

What happened yesterday afternoon was scarring. The guy, Eric, that I was dating scared me. So since Eric is going to a different school next year I thought it would be best if we stopped seeing each other when school let out. and I talked to him about it yesterday around 5ish and we broke up. But that part wasn't to bad.

The bad part was when he told me he was committing suicide at the end of Summer Vacation, that I was the only reason he was still alive.. We spent hours fighting and arguing over this. Trying to convince him not to. It was horrifying. I was crying, shaking, and praying to God. After I told him "You. Aren't. Killing. Yourself." and he asked how I knew he won't and I answered "I don't, I trust you to stop being an idiot and listen to what I'm saying." he did reply for and hour to it and another message, I freaked out. Couldn't stand it. I finally called him and he answered the phone and I just got mad.

Apparently he's tried to commit suicide 4 different times but failed in his life. Last night he ended up cutting himself, and I'm to scared to talk to him right now. But I need to know if he's okay.

"Our greatest weakness lies in giving up. The most certain way to succeed is always to try just one more time." ~ Thomas A. Edison 

With love, 

Sarah Smiles

What.

Here's question worth a million dollars. What do I call the worst kiss I've ever experienced, ever? 

I've been absent and I've thought about you blog for a while, but I've been lazy. So let me fill you in.

Starting with May 3, I began the 365 day photo challenge which I want to be done with but I never stick with anything so I'm not giving up. Next on my list of things to tell is the fact that I've been given my Reading STAAR test results back and did exemplary on it. On the thirteenth I took my Algebra Final and I'm pretty confident I only missed 3/62 questions, which would give me a 95% score. 

SHUT UP FLY YOU'RE RUINING MY CREATIVE WRITING PROCESS. Sorry about that. 

Now back to my list. I spent most of the day with my mom and Mother's Day, but I'm still making her gift. It's a painting I started in school a while back of a Humming Bird. I still have a few flowers to splat on there but I'll give it to her soon. A few other things happened that day too, like I babysat my primary customers and I got a boyfriend. 

Eric is my main reason for starting this post. So he asked me out on Facebook, I said yes(obviously). Then on Monday we hugged after school, exchanged numbers, then I left. On Tuesday he kissed me on the cheek, as well as Wednesday. By then I really liked him and he was like a really good friend. Then on Thursday he kissed me on the lips. Well not even on the actual lips! It was pretty much on the part of your face right below the nose and right above the place you put Chapstick. It was the sloppiest, weirdest, and most awkward thing I've experienced. 

I know it's wrong of me to say this, but speaking from the words of a friend. "Sometimes it just takes a kiss to put your relationship in the friend zone or way beyond." And the more I think about it the more it makes sense. Today was absolutely depressing and tiring. At least I got ice cream for A-Honor-Roll in my last period and I get to hang at the pool with some friends. I think the worst part about today was the fact that I had to kiss him again. >.<

~ Sarah (Not So Much) Smiles

Because.

Just because we all have something that makes us have a heart.

I am the Walrus

So I know I'm SERIOUSLY late, but I have finally officially listened to my first Beatles song! This is a day to remember! So let's all take this moment to mark our calendars and shut up so we can listen to Here Comes the Sun or something.

So Nicole, who is my best friend of all time, is a Beatles fanatic probably a number 1 fan if you ask me, and finds it impossible that I have not listened to them until tonight. And I must admit, so am I. I'm almost disappointed that I haven't listened to them before now, but I said almost because I don't think I would have appreciated them as much as I do right now. I say this because before last year I was never really in to the older sounding music as well as indie music, which is weird because along with pop it's all I ever really listen to.


"You have to be a bastard to make it, and that's a fact. And the Beatles are the biggest bastards on earth." ~ John Lennon


Well goodnight everyone! I'll just be lying awake in bed listening to the Beatles!

Dear John Lennon,
I know you're dead, but hey, what can you do? You had the best quote,
Sincerely,
A new fan that goes by Sarah Smiles.

The Decapitations of Dragons and Chickens.

As I lay flat on my flat and starving stomach, listening to Tip Toe by Imagine Dragons, I can't help but think of my newest handshake. Kiana and I have built up a handshake that starts with the Happy Llama, Sad Llama Song.

Our version's lyrics: Happy Llama, Sad Llama, Deranged Llama, Sleepy Llama, Mama Llama, Super Llama, Kissy Llama, Moose, Unicorn, Owl, Elephant, Dragon, One Armed Dragon, The Other Armed Dragon, Decapitated Dragon, Fire Breathing Dragon, Chicken, One Armed Chicken, The Other Armed Chicken, Decapitated Chicken, Egg, (pause for 1sec) CRUSTACEANS.

I just had to! Sorry, not sorry. Anyways just incase you're confuzzled, don't be, it's better to have someone model it for you and it's not something you absolutely have to know. Oh, plus there are soo many versions for the Happy Llama, Sad Llama Song. :)

I don't know if you've noticed but my blog has been totally changed. Well I probably shouldn't totally changed because I didn't really move anything around, but I did change the template, background, and colors! hope you guys like it.

"My computer beat me at checkers, but I sure beat it at kickboxing." ~ Emo Philips

I think everyone could use a smile these days, and that's a pretty good one! :)

~ Sarah Smiles

Dear Fellow Writer,

Please inspire? Hey, it's me. Long time no post, eh? Heh.. Well I've been busy. No really, I'm not just saying that.

For the past two days I've been taking my State Tests. Not all of them though, which is actually quite a disappointment since that means I still have to pay attention in my classes(darn it!). So far I've just taken my Algebra Mock test (which basically means I have to take my Final STILL) and my Reading/English test (which was super uber easy). 

I know I'm not suppose to talk about this stuff but it's not like I'm giving out answers and cheat-cheats. So, one of the reading materials used in the reading test I had really inspired me. It was called Dear Fellow Writer. The author basically described different tactics writers use and how some people try to get their ideas. All I know is that this short letter or story inspired me to start writing again.

Some other things have been going on too. I've been editing some photos lately, not many though. But a while ago I showed my art teacher some photos I took and fixed up, and now I'm going to be in an art show! I think I ended up calling it, Ghostly Shadows. :)

Here it is!

➜ 
➜
➜
➜
➜
➜
➜
➜  

"Home is the place where, when you have to go there, they have to take you in." ~ Robert Frost 

Well I think that'll be all today. By the way Animal Crackers suck. •_•

Love Always,

Sarah Smiles

That thought.

Opinions are so over rated.

Those thoughts about something or someone that turn into words, that soon come out your mouth, those are called opinions. Who ever said "Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me," must have been living in a hole. No matter who you meet everyone has their own opinions of you and everyone else. We are only human, and every year society gets worse, and more people commit suicide, become bullies, get depressed, or hurt. And everyone gets tired.

I rant. I get hurt, and I rant. I don't talk to anyone, so my emotions get pulled up like footsy pajamas with a hoody over my head. And then I feel like crying, so I rant away my tears. Then I find my feelings and force them back down to my feet like trash.

I haven't been here for a while and I apologize. I always am sorry even if no one believes it...

For now I'm going to rant some more. I want to leave this God forsaken place in Texas! I hate it here. Well I hate the people here. Then again hate is such a strong word, so I dislike them. I don't care anymore. I'm always tired, and sad, an just plain angry at everything. I miss having friends. I want to just fly to Kansas, or North Carolina where people give a shit. (Is there a word for not caring? Cause I'd rather not use the word shit in my ranting but if necessary I will.)

I will start this rant off, and I will start it off with Josh, even if I don't know which Josh it's about.

I want to be with Josh.

And I want to know exactly what I feel, and to be able to say it to a persons face.

And I don't want to be sick, and I don't want to be called cutie pie by a guy who has no interest in me, I don't like being depressed in this way.

I hate being quiet, and shy, I hate being disrespected, I want to laugh again.

I want to love someone and marry them, I want to be able to win a contest, I want to meet the person I obsess too much over, I don't want to be controlled, I want to read all the time and keep a 4.0 GPA without having to go to school.

I don't want to be overweight, I want to express myself through my clothes, and I want one of the relationships I read all about, and I hate to understand some people, and I want to listen indie music all the time.

But most of all I just want someone to understand. Someone who knows exactly how I feel and doesn't just say they do. Someone who can shake me and wake me up from my nightmares, because they know when I'm having the best dream or worst nightmare.

~ Sarah.

What's Given.

You say your not popular? Jeez, if you aren't popular, I'm a freaking button.

But I'm coming out of my cage, and I've been doing just fine. But I gotta be down cause I want it all... Who am I kidding? I'm Mrs. Brightside.

A boy asked if I date black guys because I hang out with my black best friend. I just want to go somewhere. Somewhere not here. A place where my true best friend is. Gosh, a place where I fit in.

A boy and girl in my science class were talking about last Saturday and what they did. Then they turned to me and he said "Sarah spent her Saturday working on her college application. A fun Saturday." I just need to be somewhere else.

Where do you go when you're all alone? Out in the cold and cruel world. When all you really have is your music, and what may or may not be yourself? When you don't even know what to do because everyone else has their own personal version of you, whether it's the slut, or the nerd, or just a strange hi in the hall?

"The more you like yourself, the less you are like anyone else, which makes you unique." ~ Walt Disney

~ Mrs. Brightside