To Her

She has wondering eyes, darting with curiosity but full of knowledge. She can feel that he's looking down at her with his lighter blue eyes hidden behind his hipster glasses.

The girl reaches into her bag to retrieve his head phones left at her house from summer days. She slowly realizes she put them in the pocket holding her once a month girl possessions, yet she's not embarrassed. She wants him to know, to realize how much of a women she really is, and has been for years. When she looks up at him to hand him the head phones he's smiling. And she wants to be a part of that smile, connected to it. Connected to him. But she simply gives him an uneven smirk, and her few last words to say before she hugs him one last time and walks in the direction of many other cars waiting to get out of the lot.


So I happened to survive my first day of freshman year and now I can't sleep. Oops. (from last night)

No Pencils

When the world calms down and the starts come out, do we have what it takes to see beyond the golden gates?

Your life is unwritten. So let's pick up a pen. No pencils, because that's not how life works. You cant erase your mistakes so embrace them! Sure you could still go and cross them out but there will forever be that little bit of evidence on the page. Those few witnesses, they will always know.


“Well, we all make mistakes, dear, so just put it behind you. We should regret our mistakes and learn from them, but never carry them forward into the future with us.” ~ L.M. Montgomery, Anne of Avonlea

This I believe is my shortest post yet. WOO. ~ Sarah

Let's Walk into Doors for Fun.

I was going to get my laptop from my room so I could type in the kitchen and listen to my complete Night Visions Album by Imagine Dragons, when I totally walked into the door! Not even attempting to grab the handle! Any who! I love this album! Possibly the best decision I've ever made!

The boy, Evan, that I talked about in my last post came over today around one. The only thing is that my parents weren't here so I was extremely nervous and excited at the same time. I was so happy and disappointed that he didn't try anything, kissing I mean.. Is that wrong? He left about four o'clock since I got a text saying to clean the house, from my dad. Evan was about to walk out the door when he turned around and made my heart skip a beat by say to get over there and give him a hug. :)))

He's one of the sweetest guys I know, and jeez he's cute! for those of you who watch Awkward. he's basically the Matty McKibben but the nerdy, blonde, super white kind. Oh and if you're wondering what exactly we did the whole time; we watched the ending of BASEketball, half of The Beaver, and two episodes of That 70's Show. It was pretty much perf. Way better than our sort of date. And let me just say, he long boarded all the to my house which if a few miles from his! That's dedication right there!! Oh and my dog freaking loves him, and vise versa! Like I said 'it was pretty much perf.'

"Follow your bliss and the universe will open doors where there were only walls." ~ Joseph Campbell 

Have a great rest of your day!

 ~ Sarah Smiles

Participating to Infinity

It's 3:39 in the morning and I'm up. I'm never up this late besides the time at the Great Wolf Lodge, those moments I can't seem to forget... I think it's been a little over two weeks now since we've been chatting on Facebook. I've lost most of that crush feeling I used to have, I still hope we become wonderful friends and to find a guy like him one day.

I am here because I was asked on a date earlier this week. :) It was very significant though because this happened to my first sort of date. By sort of I mean that my mom drove me to McDonald's to meet up with Evan, and she was in the strip mall area the whole time. Our date was pretty much a bust and it feels like it was my fault, because he did all the talking and I could never find anything in my mind to say back. Normally through text, it's not much of a problem. You know why? because when that text from him comes through the cyber air, and space to that satellite and back down the atmosphere to my own phone, I can look at the words and think. Think through everything. Google what I don't understand since I happen to be hopelessly clueless, then I can type.

Type until the nerves in my fingers get numb from pressing to hard. He still likes me though. From what I can tell at least. I'm no my Macy McHenry but if someone constantly tries to make plans with you than doesn't that mean they do?

One of my best friends, Kasi, is having a birthday party on Friday so it should be fun! I need to go and get her a present but I haven't had the chance. I've been trying to ignore my friends. It's hard though. Here isn't home. Here isn't anything but a living nightmare. It's hilarious that during the summer I moved to Kansas I was having anxiety attacks because I had no one, yet here no attacks but it's even worse.

I've noticed tension between my parents. It's been happening more and more often since this summer started. I'm worried about them, getting separated that is... Trying to act like you don't notice silent fights like that is terribly hard. I'm just glad most of the week I'm alone.


"The truth is of course is that there is no journey. We are arriving and departing all at the same time." ~ David Bowie

Good Morning, sorry for the feelings and ramblings and for the long post. ~ Sarah Smiles