That thought.

Opinions are so over rated.

Those thoughts about something or someone that turn into words, that soon come out your mouth, those are called opinions. Who ever said "Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me," must have been living in a hole. No matter who you meet everyone has their own opinions of you and everyone else. We are only human, and every year society gets worse, and more people commit suicide, become bullies, get depressed, or hurt. And everyone gets tired.

I rant. I get hurt, and I rant. I don't talk to anyone, so my emotions get pulled up like footsy pajamas with a hoody over my head. And then I feel like crying, so I rant away my tears. Then I find my feelings and force them back down to my feet like trash.

I haven't been here for a while and I apologize. I always am sorry even if no one believes it...

For now I'm going to rant some more. I want to leave this God forsaken place in Texas! I hate it here. Well I hate the people here. Then again hate is such a strong word, so I dislike them. I don't care anymore. I'm always tired, and sad, an just plain angry at everything. I miss having friends. I want to just fly to Kansas, or North Carolina where people give a shit. (Is there a word for not caring? Cause I'd rather not use the word shit in my ranting but if necessary I will.)

I will start this rant off, and I will start it off with Josh, even if I don't know which Josh it's about.

I want to be with Josh.

And I want to know exactly what I feel, and to be able to say it to a persons face.

And I don't want to be sick, and I don't want to be called cutie pie by a guy who has no interest in me, I don't like being depressed in this way.

I hate being quiet, and shy, I hate being disrespected, I want to laugh again.

I want to love someone and marry them, I want to be able to win a contest, I want to meet the person I obsess too much over, I don't want to be controlled, I want to read all the time and keep a 4.0 GPA without having to go to school.

I don't want to be overweight, I want to express myself through my clothes, and I want one of the relationships I read all about, and I hate to understand some people, and I want to listen indie music all the time.

But most of all I just want someone to understand. Someone who knows exactly how I feel and doesn't just say they do. Someone who can shake me and wake me up from my nightmares, because they know when I'm having the best dream or worst nightmare.

~ Sarah.